Home / LifeStyle / How To Survive Medical School | See now more

How To Survive Medical School | See now more

here’s how to survive medical school year by year okay pre-year one get the fucking to medical school how do you do that kill a homeless man hide the body prove to the admissions committee that you’re wise you go you know what I killed a homeless man hit the body no one caught me look how empathic I am they’ll let you in number next you’re one very simple memorize a bunch of shit most of it is wrong most of it will be proven wrong so half of it’s wrong half of it will be proven wrong in the future
just memorize it and shut the fuck up don’t ask questions don’t waste time okay and remember this masturbate a lot and I’ll tell you why stress if you’re filling your head with stuff you need to get out other stuff in the other pathway and I’m talking boys girls in between it doesn’t matter beat it as often as you can number next second year this is where they take that treadmill that you’re on where you’re memorizing stuff and they just turn it from five miles per hour to 12 miles per hour that’s like a four-minute mile and shit you’re just going fuck
and you’re thinking okay
I made a mistake
I made a terrible mistake
I could have been a banker I could have been a lawyer and I’m doing this okay empty your mind of that shit masturbate more whatever you’re doing before cranking it to 12 and just memorize all this stuff now they’ll start introducing clinical stuff the ability all you’re gonna see a patient here is a patient there and you’re gonna be like this is bullshit.

here’s a little secret those are the only patient interactions you will ever remember from all of the medical school are the ones you have in your second year because they will impress on you that you are in this to be with people when they are at their most vulnerable and that shit will stick in your head even while you’re masturbating year 3 poorest people we can’t let this go any further Z okay whatever you say Tom hi never are you saying this is only going to support us do you need some time alone in the bathroom because there might be something on your mind

alright let’s continue this then if this is what this is about year three year three is about kissing the ring of the authority figure the attending position so you will be the ring that is kissed it is about pretending to care about rotations you do not give a fuck about or worse you’re terrified of my first rotation Oh be gone
the women parts to this day give me PTSD and yet my evaluation said Zubin is one of the most enthusiastic and passionate medical students we have ever had why because I had a smile on my face I said yes to everything they asked me to do and I put my hand wherever they told me
to put it even when it felt wrong to do that you’re for assuming you survived you haven’t died by any unnatural means and you haven’t quit or you haven’t started a meth lab and realize that’s vastly more profitable to pay off your loans than anything else you’ve done your for does it really matter you just come looking smoke weed all the entire year because the fourth year doesn’t matter you’ve already matched no one gives a fuck the attendings know that you’re dead to them you’ve already told the attending on your you know psych elective that you’re not doing psych that you’re going into plastics so they don’t care about you alright believe me

I was in attending for ten years at Stanford if anybody told me yeah I’m doing this and it wasn’t my specialty I’m like you’re dead to me whatever what the fuck and my evaluation was three lines they showed up and they showed up that was it so fuck the fourth year and that’s basically medical school how to survive not only survive people thrive why masturbation smoking weed maybe combine the two last longer refractory period shorter all right

About Med Auth

Check Also

Vegetables and fruits are treasures of health and beauty

Eating vegetables and fruits is usually advised to develop them permanently and continuously, because they …